i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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