Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
