stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize