I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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