We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My pussy is not your playground.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
