Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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