Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
