Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
