ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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