I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want to make out with him forever
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
