So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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