Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
