she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
