People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
