fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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