my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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