walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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