did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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