I accidentally burped into my bong.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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