He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
