I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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