im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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