i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
