We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
BRING THE BAGELS
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
