Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
