My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
