I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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