Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hippo gnu deer
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Randomize
