You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
