I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
