If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
