I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
