every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
