So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
