i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
