I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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