I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize