Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
