I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
