Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize