My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
