did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
