I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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