I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize