i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
