I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
