I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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