Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
