She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize