do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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