I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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