omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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