That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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