Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
