I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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