You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize