party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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