just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
